In romantic kids’ movies, the prince tells the princess, Marry me, and I will do my all to make you happy. He also manages to keep his promise about happiness. They get each other and live happily together ever after.
You may be happier if your” someone” could be different. If they would not cause you so much trouble, worry, and sorrow. Suppose they wouldn’t treat you so severely sometimes and would not rip out your self-confidence and trust.
You could be happier without sickness and sorrow among your family and friends. If your boss appreciated you more, paid a better salary or recognized you. Suppose your friends cared more about you and did not live so far away. If your kids were easier and more helpful, your dog would not bark so much.
That all might be true. But…. no one around you, except yourself, can make you truly happy.
Happy or not?
Are you happy? Am I happy? How do we know if we are happy or not? Can we do something to be happier? Could I make you happy if I would try? These questions are simple and casual – but often tough to answer.
One problem is that happiness is difficult to measure. The doctors can measure almost everything from blood to heart rates. When you apply for a new job, they might test your intelligence and problem-solving skills and put you on the health tests. They can test you even if you are depressed. But happiness. Measuring happiness is difficult.
The science of happiness is a new but rapidly growing area of research. Thanks to it, we know more about human happiness every day.
Happiness is…an approach and attitude to life.
Do you remember the cute posters and drawings with the text happiness is..? They represented the pretty minor things that happiness could be. I even drew them when I was a kid.
Happiness can be the first flower after a chilly winter, a bird singing in a garden tree, a sweet message from a friend, getting a new great job, or finding a dream sofa. It might be.
However, none of these lovely things makes you happier if you haven’t learned to feel happy. Happiness researchers say external changes in your life don’t seem to do much for your long-term state of mind.
Start approaching everyday life more happily, and you get more pleasure from all the good things life gives you. You also can deal better with not-so-good things and sorrows, which are a part of human life and sometimes seem to stick on your happy road.
Feeling happiness does not demand that your life is just dancing on the roses, orchids, or whatever flowers you love. It does not require that everything in life goes just like you want. Your circumstances can be far from perfect, and you might struggle with everyday problems or more significant issues, but still, you can find some sources of happiness.
Optimism is the secret weapon of happy people.
Scientists say that happiness has much to do with optimism. Optimists always expect the best and also see the good sides of problems. The good news is that you can train your mind to be more optimistic. When you face obstacles or something negative happens, you should learn not to get angry, hopeless, or shocked but to calm down. What does this mean? What can I do about this issue? Can this be solved, and how? What can I learn from this? Is there something positive in this? The thoughts have enormous power.
Happiness and relationships go together.
Your happiness and your relationships are strongly related. That is one of the truths found by all scientists dedicated to happiness research. Relationships always need at least two participants, and you can handle only your side. You can change your behavior, not the others.
However, you should not let others treat you unfairly or badly regularly. If necessary, you should tell them that firmly and friendly.
Sometimes, other people still manage to hurt your feelings. Do not take that personally. Remember, it is their view of the world, not yours. What they say is not the objective truth. You decide if you let it influence you. People who tend to treat others badly and unfairly are usually unhappy. That’s their problem, and they should try to do something about it. In your heart, send them your loving thoughts and forgiveness.
If other people have worries and sorrows, you should understand them but not swim in the dark waters. They need more light, not dark. Even in miserable situations, there is always something that is okay or at least could be even worse. If you can show them even a bit of light and hope, you will make their dark roads easier to navigate.
According to many scientists, helping others can be a significant source of happiness—as long as you do it because you want to. Scientists also believe that becoming happier can be a conscious decision. If you decide to be happier, you probably will.
p.s. Have you lost your happiness in a hurry and stressed out? Read Eight Easy Steps to Rescue Your Happiness. Also check out my small e-book, Hello Happy Camper.
